It’s all too easy to agree to undertake any tasks that are asked of you as a way of furthering your career. But Monica Berg points out the pitfalls of such a broadblanket approach.
When do you know if an opportunity is not just that – an opportunity – but also a good one? One that will actually give some value to you either in the form of a fee, growth or something else you deem useful?
The truth is, often you don’t. Which is why it’s so important you learn how to go with your gut feeling and develop your instincts. It might sound counterintuitive, but you don’t need to say yes to every single guest shift or go to every bar show, because networking will only take you so far – if you can even call it networking at this point. If you’re not careful, you can easily exhaust yourself doing unpaid gigs for brands or awards shows, thinking this will help you build a name in the industry – but what you’re really doing is undermining and devaluing both yourself and the bartender profession. So what can we do to prevent this?
First of all, don’t say yes because you’re scared of saying no. Of course, it can feel uncomfortable, but in the end, you want to be someone who sets the right limits – without being limited – because once you realise your time is in fact limited, you will be more selective about how, where and on whom you spend it.
Over the years, I’ve definitely struggled to find the right balance here, because like many others in this industry, it’s in my nature to want to people please – and as a default setting, I always look for ways to “go the extra mile”.
But if I can give you one important piece of advice: making other people happy, or “going the extra mile” to elevate someone else’s experience, should never come at the price of your own wellbeing. Too many times, I’ve ended up in situations that could have been prevented by clear(er) communication and setting the right boundaries.
Think ahead
It’s also important to think of the long game, not just the immediate gains. The thing that will benefit your career over time is likely not the easy option today, and to be successful in the future means you need to be clear about who you are now, and what you want to grow into – and say “no” to everything else.
For a very long time, we were told to “fake it til you make it”, but this is horrible advice. If you want to be successful over time you need to take time now to learn things properly.
There are no shortcuts in life, and if you don’t know how to do something you need to acknowledge that. So many times, I’ve been asked to do jobs I’m not equipped to do or talk about subjects I’m not qualified to comment on – so I don’t. Because anyone who does know would instantly know I’m fake – so instead I try to recommend a better option or person. Because in the long run, I strongly believe, all of us benefit from being schooled by the right people. The ones who actually do know – even if, for the time being, that’s not me yet.
When you do get to the stage where you agreed to the job, you need to estimate the time it will take you and be both honest and pessimistic. For example, when you agree to do a seminar or talk, always budget for the time it takes you to prepare for it. This allows you to more accurately put a ‘price’ on your time – regardless of what currency you use; money, loss of free time, lack of sleep etc. Find your ‘hard passes’ and stop wasting time when passing on proposals. This shortcut will save you a lot of time, because instead of consciously having to consider this every time, you can simply say “I don’t do X, Y or Z” and politely decline.
It can often be difficult to create these rules for yourself, because it’s easy to think that by saying no, you will be branded as difficult to work with or that you will be missing out on opportunities or the classic “everyone else is doing it, so I need to do it as well”. But long term, it’s important to take the time to understand your strengths and likes, so you don’t end up wasting your time doing things you don’t like only because you’re unable to say no. In the end, no one will value our profession unless we do and, as much as visibility and exposure is great, until we commit to standing our ground and charging for our knowledge, experience and time, none of us win.